Me Figuring out Daniel

When I put Danny to bed tonight I read The Hungry Caterpillar to him which is one of his favourites. At the point where it turns into a cocoon I asked him what it was and he said "A Raccoon!" Bless. His teachers said he did "mmmm-ok" and did that little tilt of the hand from side-to-side when I picked him up today and asked how his morning had been. It's the big Christmas concert on Thursday but Mrs N assured me that in rehearsal today he did great as long as he could sit on her knee so that's where he'll be during the concert. Good. Phew. Glad he has his spot picked out and I don't have to worry about him running & screaming bloody murder from the church. Today Linda told me that during his nap-time he asked her to lie next to him for a cuddle and a chat. That's what I do most nights at bedtime so I'm glad he's interacting a bit more. Although I saw his class photo today for the first time and all the kids are either sat on the bench or in front of it, except my boy that's stood by the side, next to Mrs N.

It's taken me a long time (nearly 3 years!) to decipher his personality and to try and help him, rather than fight him. Yes, he's like a bull he's so headstrong and yes, he's very physical so I'm trying to get Jack to stick up for himself (now those are bizarre conversations) but being headstrong and physical do not pose too many challenges for him - in fact those things will carry him in life I think. His issues are his reluctance to accept change, his fear of new things and the fact that he genuinely likes playing by himself and doesn't want some kid coming up and being friendly and taking his toys, though he does have a couple of friends. All the fights in my house are about Jack trying to play with him or taking away a toy. I feel so bad for Jack sometimes because he wants to play and Danny will tell him to bugger off (sometimes Danny will follow him and acts adoringly). Danny is just really independent and not looking to other people for entertainment. I'm not too concerned about all this right at the minute - especially now that I'm figuring it out and not taking it personally (I did for a long time). He's polite and has good manners around adults and has never been mean to another kid. He's just Daniel - his own person and not willing to change and he's not barging in, telling everyone "it's his way or the highway". He's not cheeky to people or a smart mouth. He's quietly getting on with things off to the side and enjoying himself. But if you bother him, then he'll bring it on. I'm amazed by his personality and actually in awe of him. He'd rather go to bed starving than eat his dinner and he'd rather stay in time-out for an hour than say sorry for something he thinks is unfair. I'm too old and knackered for such endurance. I'd say sorry just to get my warm milk and a soft blanket and bed. But that's the difference between being 42 and nearly 3 I suppose.

I really do feel like I'm the one learning here. He knows exactly who he is and is willing to fight for it. I need to teach him how to be in life without fighting with him constantly and driving us both nuts. There's a common saying among parents that if they'd have had their second child first they'd never have another. I disagree 100%. I look at Daniel and my heart just bursts with pride at how independent he is. He's going to be amazing I think.