Monday, March 23, 2009

Birthday Party from Hell

Last Friday we went to a 5th birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese and I still haven't fully recovered. It is a hideous place. Hell on earth. A nightmare to behold. McDonald's on acid.

It's toddler heaven of course. It's a room full of kiddie rides and playground equipment, hosted by a giant mouse that puts on shows. There's pizza and cake too. Needless to say, Jack has been asking repeatedly to go back and I say "okay love, maybe when hell freezes over we'll go back" and he looks at me confused.

Anyone over the age of eight would detest this place. It's full of rambunctious, screaming toddlers which are very cute if they belong to you but strangle-worthy if they don't. They do hideous toddlers things like double-dip their dirty spoons in the salad bar, which means you have to eat the house pizza. And everyone there looks fed-up & exhausted, even the people who work there. I was watching Chuck E. Cheese do a sloth-like shuffle as he moved about the kids having his picture taken. As I was stood in line waiting to buy Craig a diet coke and me a plastic cup of cheap wine the man next to me turned, looked me right in the eye and said "I hate this place" and all the other parents in line nodded in agreement.

We didn't have places like this when I was a kid. We had indoor activities like roller skating, disco dancing, youth club and bingo. Activities that didn't involve making parents absolutely miserable. And without a doubt, if I'd have stuck my spoon in the buffet food my mum would have given me a crack around the head, loaded me up into the Morris Minor and sent me to bed in shame.

9 comments:

Jen said...

Did you read my post about the CEC party we went to last week? Sounds like we had similar party experiences. My recommendation: go during the week at lunch time if possible. You'll have the place to yourselves and can actually enjoy spending time with your kid.

Fredsueand me said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Fredsueand me said...

that sounds like a vile, hideous and hateful place to have to spend time, rather like the wacky warehouses here, we went once and vowed never again. they should provide each parent with a valium and a whisky chaser at the door on the way in and way out. i feel for you, avoid at all costs is what i say. hope your well missus, love to your men from us. lee x x
P.s last comment removed due to atrocious spelling, i really should pay more attention when i type. x x

Ladybird World Mother said...

Hell on earth indeed. How awful... will make sure we never EVER go there!

Strawberry Jam Anne said...

Sounds dreadful - thanks for the tip never to go there! Jack looks as though he is having a good time! A x

mountainear said...

How grim. Very unlikely we'll ever end up there fortunately.

Our lads had to make do with parties at home: jumping off the furniture (thereby picking up all manner of curses hurled at them be irate parents - which has stood them in good stead admittedly...) and feasting on all sorts of junk foods.

So, in retrospect they acquired language skills, agility and tolerance to additives in foods. Fair enough?

Pam said...

Hey Jen: Good advice. Not sure I could go back though for at least 12 months.
Hiya Lee: You took us to Wacky Warehoue. We saw a woman breastfeeding her 5 year old, remember?
Ladybird & Anne: Trust me on this one. Avoid at all costs.
Hi Mountainear: That's my plan for Jack's 3rd this summer. A garden party at home, then they can go nuts outside!

Almost American said...

Ah yes, I've blogged about that evil place too!

Kelsey said...

I wonder if this is something that's viewed differently if you grew up with it? i remember having my sixth birthday at a CEC - we loved it as kids and would sometimes go as a "treat" for good report cards. Matt has taken Harper a couple of times, nice that it is relatively peanut safe! I wouldn't host a birthday party there (too expensive) but I don't mind it occasionally!