Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Two Mid-Morning Rants

We both took a day off to catch up on house stuff. Craig's gone shopping and I'm drinking coffee & blogging as you can see. 

I have two mid-morning rants I really want to get off my chest:

1. We took Jack to his swimming class last night. This involves getting home from work at Superman speed, feeding & de-pooing the animals, feeding Jack, finding swim wear and getting to the pool in less than 1 hour. As we piled out of our house, arms laden with bags and towels, we realized neither of us had car or house keys. Mother of all F***s! Pardon the language. Ran to the neighbour, got the spare key. Thanked God neighbours hadn't set off on their holidays yet (they were just about to) and drove like a manic to the pool.  With just 3 minutes to spare, we sprinted to the pool only to be met by a sign that said 'Classes cancelled Thanksgiving week". GREAT. Nobody thought to mention that at last week's lesson did they. I now have a two-year old who hasn't stopped crying "I want swim with daddy!" for the last 18 hours. Next week the instructor is getting his speedos pulled way up his forgetful arse.

2. I just read an article by a pregnancy "expert" telling me NOT to eat for two. That it is in fact a myth and pregnant women should eat healthily for the sake of the baby.  Listen honeypie,  first of all, you are MALE, which gives you no opinions whatsoever when it comes to writing about pregnancy. Second, pregnant women go through: cramps, piles, varicose veins, engorged breasts,  swelled ankles, high blood pressure, gestational diabetes, aching hips, back ache, limp hair, lack of eyesight, morning sickness, the pain of childbirth or c-section surgery, the loss of bowel and bladder control, chewed nipples, and NO ALCOHOL for 10 months. 
Don't tell me I can't eat for two. I might just hunt you down and shoot you.

I feel much better now, so I'm going to get another cup of coffee and get cracking.  Yes, I'm having two cups of coffee this morning, caffeinated too! Got a problem with that Mr. Expert?

2 comments:

Strawberry Jam Anne said...

Oh dear Pam - umm - well said! Glad you got that off your chest. Not good for baby you know to keep things bottled up! (only joking - honest)!

A x

Jen said...

Thanks for putting a smile on my face.

I feel sorry for the swim instructor when you take Jack to class next week. Does he seriously wear speedos?

Don't you love it when men give advice on things they can't experience?! When pregnant with Jacob, I ate whatever I wanted in whatever quantities I wanted and gained 45 pounds. With Ellie and then Emmaline, I ate much better/healthier and still gained 40 pounds. It only took 4 1/2 months to get back to pre-baby weight and into my old clothes after all 3. I say, eat what makes you happy.

Happy Thanksgiving!